15 Social Skills That Will Make You Successful In Every Aspect Of Life

In a world where technology is increasing our capacity to connect with people worldwide, it is also diminishing our ability to effectively connect with people in person. Just like learning how to cook, develop software, or play a sport; the ability to connect with others is a skill and you can learn how to do it more effectively. Learning the social skills necessary to connect with others will help you be more successful in every aspect of your life. Here are 15 social skills you can develop to be more charismatic:

1. Speak Less, Ask More

Those who are great with people don’t necessary have the gift-of-gab, but rather, are great at asking questions. One of the most important social skills you can develop is the ability to ask questions; not in an interrogating way, but in the way that will help you understand people better and strengthen your relationship with them. People love talking about themselves, so asking questions that trigger memories (i.e. “What was it like for you when…?”); cause them to give their opinion (i.e. “What do you think about…?”); or ask for advice (i.e. “I have a dilemma and would love your thoughts…?”), will put you in the driver’s seat by allowing them to be the center of the conversation.

2. Celebrate Their Wins

When someone shares great news with you, instead of dismissing it, sharing good news of your own, or even bashing their good news — celebrate their win by being genuinely excited for them.

3. Lock-in On Group Settings

For many, the group setting is the perfect opportunity to pull back, check their phone, and zone out of the conversation–but not you. Pay close attention in a group setting, you’ll be able to learn how to connect with others by what they say, how they say it, and even what people choose not to say. Be aware of who likes to lead the conversation, what people like to talk about, and if someone is being excluded from the conversation.

4. Make Eye Contact — Or Not

On a daily basis you are bombarded with distractions competing for one of your most precious resources–your attention. Making eye contact with the person you are speaking with face-to-face is an outward expression that you are confident and fully engaged with that person. However, if someone isn’t looking making eye contact with you, before you jump to conclusions, be aware that it may be culturally unacceptable for them to do so; they are intimidated by you; or it makes them uncomfortable.

5. Show Positive Body Language

You can project confidence, kindness, and leadership just by the way you carry yourself. Keep your head up, shoulders back, and chest out. We learn from Dr. Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are“, that how you carry yourself can impact how you think and feel about yourself–so get big!

6. Pay Attention To The Little Things

Life is hard. And many people are going through life in quiet desperation with little or no support from family or friends. The problem is, people are so good at hiding it, that they give off the impression that everything is good in their life and they don’t need help. Keep in mind that people have lives outside of work, school, and other places you seed them. A simple awareness of others’ body language, behavior, and facial expressions will give you insight into how things are really going for them.

7. Praise People’s Strengths

One way to bring the best out of someone is to praise their strengths. Could you imagine how you would respond if someone came up to you and said, “Just so you know, your ability to [insert strength] is incredible. I wish I was more like that.”? Giving praise to someone else is a sign of confidence on your part, and a tremendous confidence builder for the other person.

8. Build Others Up When They Aren’t Around

You can tell a person’s character by how they talk about others when they aren’t around. If you know someone who is constantly talking bad behind people’s back, you can be certain they are talking negatively about you when you’re not around. Be the kind of person who speaks highly of others when they are not around.

9. Listen To Their Voice

People will reveal a lot about themselves by not only what they say, but how they say it. Some people connect better when you speak loud and fast, while others prefer to be communicated to in a softer tone — know your audience.

10. Smile More

Research shows the confident people smile more. I’m not saying walk around with a beaming smile from ear-to-ear at all times–that’s creepy. What I am saying, is if you are in a good mood, make sure you don’t forget to tell your face. Additionally, smiling at others will trigger the mirror neurons in their brain to smile back at you–it’s contagious. People with great social skills are approachable, and nothing says, “Let’s be friends!”, than a genuine smile.

11. Be Polite

It’s easy to connect better with someone with manners. The simple things your parents taught you when you were a child, a little “Please”, “Thank-you”; and “You’re Welcome”, can go a long way.

12. Provide Value

To be at the top of your social skills game you’ve got to bring something to the table. Use what you know or do to be a benefit to those around, with no intention  ask for anything in return. Share what you’re good at with others and you will experience the fulfilling joy of giving.

13. Say Nothing

Sometimes people don’t need to hear your opinion. The next time you want to chime in and give empirical data supporting your side of an argument, stop and ask yourself the question, “Do I want to be happy, or do I want to be right?” More times than not, being happy means conceding the argument and enjoying the company of others.

14. Focus On The Bright Side Of Things

Negativity is contagious and can spread quickly; refuse to be that person who transmits negativity through your family, friends, and coworkers by complaining all the time. Instead, be that person who can look at the bright side of a difficult situation and keep tough times in perspective. This doesn’t mean to be unrealistic and overly-positive, it means to be that person who can look adversity in the face and focus on what you can control.

15. See The Good In People

Develop the skill to see the good in others. It’s human nature to put others down in order to make ourselves feel better; but be that person who can spot the diamond in the rough; especially when they can’t see it themselves.

Read more

People Judge Your Personality Based On These 7 Small Things

From the moment you meet someone for the first time, you quickly want to assess who the person is and what they represent. This is why you may be on the lookout for certain stable qualities like honesty, kindness and intelligence.

Paying attention to these things may even help you evaluate if you will want to pursue an intimate relationship with this person or not.

Such judgment of character could be helpful on major decisions such as pursuing a romantic relationship, employing an individual or accepting a job offer. Based on these things, this is how people judge your personality and determine who you are and who you might not be.

1. Your handwriting

According to a study, the way someone writes and the size of their handwriting can tell you certain things about the person. According to the research which was conducted by the National Pen Company, it is revealed that persons with small handwriting tend to be shy, meticulous and studious while people who were more outgoing tried gaining attention with larger handwriting.

Those who take things seriously put more pressure on the pen when they write, while light-handed writers typically tend to be empathetic and are more sensitive.

2. Your color

According to an article on Psychology Today, the color you frequently turn to for clothes or are more akin to says a lot about who you are. People who frequently choose black are sensitive, artistic and attentive to details, while those who love red live life to the fullest and proactive in their endeavors.

People who love green are loyal and affectionate, while those who love white are organized and logical, and those who have blue as their favorite color are stable, sensitive and are considerate of others.

3. Biting your nails

Certain body-focused repetitive behaviors can say a lot about your personality. How your body reacts to situations, whether by pulling your hair, biting your nails or picking at your skin could elicit impatience, frustration, boredom and dissatisfaction.

Take nail biting for example. According to a research, it is suggested that those who bite their nails tend to be perfectionists, while also tense and often nervous.

4. Your shoes

According to psychologists, you can correctly judge a person just by looking at their shoes. According to the lead researcher Omri Gillath from the University of Kansas, just by examining the cost, style, color and condition of the shoe, you can be able to guess about 90% of the owner’s personal characteristic such as his or her income, political affiliation, gender, and even age.

5. Your eyes

Your eyes are the mirror to your soul. Your eyes can tell a lot about you, what you are thinking and feeling and if you are either deceitful or loyal.According to studies, people with blue eyes are less agreeable and more likely to be alcoholics than people with darker eyes.

Another way the eye gives you away is that a lack of steady eye contact would reveal a lack of self-control and a weak will.

6. Your punctuality

How early or late you show up for an appointment or a meeting could form an impression, either negative or positive, about your personality. Being late for an important date means you are creating a negative impression about who you are, while being early for an appointment means you are considerate about other people’s time, and are both mentally organized and self-motivated.

7. Your handshake

It has been discovered that people with a strong handshake exude confidence and reflect a strong and confident character. Such people are also more likely to be extroverted, being expressive of their emotions, and less likely to be placid.

People with weak handshakes, on the other hand, lack confidence and always tend to want the easy way out of a challenge. Offering a handshake alone could be the different between appearing standoffish or sincerely friendly.

Read more

22 Quotes From Albert Einstein to Take You Inside His Mind

Albert Einstein is arguably the most famous physicist of all time. His theory of relativity forever changed the way we perceive the world and opened the door for a whole new theory in physics. Ironically, this humble man who had no desire for notoriety wound up becoming one of the most well known individuals of his time.

Einstein wasn’t just a brilliant physicist, however. He was also a remarkably wise man with incredible insights on society. Along with his groundbreaking discoveries in physics, his innovative views on a wide variety of topics ensure that he will be remembered for centuries to come.

In this article I would like to share some of Einstein’s most inspiring and incisive quotes with you. It is my hope that these quotes will provide you with a better understanding of the kind of human being he was.

1. On life

“People are like bicycles. They can keep their balance only as long as they keep moving.” —Letter to Eduard Einstein, February 5, 1930

2. On imagination

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.” —Cosmic Religion and Other Opinions and Aphorisms, 1931

3. On thinking

“Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.” —The Ultimate Quotable Einstein (2010 edition), Princeton University Press

4. On value

“If there is no price to be paid, it is also not of value.” —Aphorism, June 27, 1927

5. On peace

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” —Speech to the New History Society, 14 December 1930

6. On happiness

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.” —Quotes by Ernst Strauss in French, Einstein: A Centenary Volume, 32.

7. On human destiny

“The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.” —Science and Religion, 1939

8. On work ethic

“The state of mind which enables a man to do work of this kind … is akin to that of the religious worshipper or the lover; the daily effort comes from no deliberate intention or program, but straight from the heart.” —From a Speech “Principles of Research”, 1918

9. On politics

“I am by heritage a Jew, by citizenship a Swiss, and by makeup a human being, and only a human being, without any special attachment to any state or national entity whatsoever.” —The Yale Book of Quotations

10. On ambition

“Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.” — To F.S. Wada, July 30, 1947

11. On knowledge

“The only source of knowledge is experience” —The Ultimate Quotable Einstein (2010 edition), Princeton University Press

12. On stupidity

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” — The World As I See it

13. On common sense

“Common sense is nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind before you reach eighteen.” —The Universe and Dr. Einstein

14. On social conditioning

“Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.” — Ideas and Opinions

15. On standing against the crowd

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.” — Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen (19 March 1940)

16. On the intellect

“We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.” — Out of My Later Years

17. On wealth

“I am absolutely convinced that no wealth in the world can help humanity forward, even in the hands of the most devoted worker in this cause. The example of great and pure individuals is the only thing that can lead us to noble thoughts and deeds. Money only appeals to selfishness and irresistibly invites abuse. Can anyone imagine Moses, Jesus, or Gandhi armed with …money-bags?” — Ideas and Opinions

18. On talent

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” — Letter to Carl Seeling (11 March 1952)

19. On mastery

“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” — Letter, July 1947

20. On freedom

“Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.” —Address at the commencement of Swarthmore College, 1938

21. On solitude

“I am truly a ‘lone traveler’ and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude.” — The World As I See It

22. On humility

“The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained to liberation from the self.” —The World As I See It

Read more

26 Things To Remember If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Whether you consider happiness to be a state of mind or an activity, understand that happiness needs a level of commitment on our part. You can’t be happy by chance or accidentally. It needs some work. Rather than making excuses or complaining about something, follow these steps so you can become the happy person you should be.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – The Dalai Lama

Understand what happiness is

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” –Dale Carnegie

You cannot consider yourself happy if you do not know what happiness means. Many people cannot see the distinguishing lines between happiness and unhappiness. They tend to blame their predicament on poor relationships, spiteful relatives, and unpleasant experiences.

No one should be unhappy. It is an option. It is a choice that you can make. It starts with making that choice when good or awful things happen to you.

Take away the negativity in your life

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” – Martha Washington

What is making you unhappy? Learn to determine what is making you unhappy. It could be that you are working in a job that you don’t really love. Or it could be that the people you are surrounded with are people you don’t really like.

Whether you are in an unhealthy relationship, doing a job you don’t like, or surrounded with negative people always find the factors causing your unhappiness and get rid of them.

Look for the positive things in your life

“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” –Lucille Ball

Once negative energy is thrown out of the door, try looking for the positive things in your life. Those things may not be obvious, but they are there. It may be in spending time in solitude, having a healthy body, or having a supportive partner. There is always something that should be worth your positive attention. No matter how awful things may look, always do well to find a good angle to it.

Appreciate the present

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” – Winnie the Pooh

Most times, what can be sapping our positive energy and happiness could be that we are worrying so much about the future. It is understandable that we live in a world where it is impossible not to think about the future and look back at the past. But all this falls on a perspective. Our perspective about being happy and blessed is to focus on the now. The present has all the wonders to offer. Why dwell on things we cannot control?

Create a plan to be happy

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

When you have started taking those mini steps to gain direction to reach happiness, you have to stick to a routine or a plan that works best for you and makes you happy. There should be no excuses, detours, or self-doubts. Whatever your plan may be, whether it is staying fit or doing charity work, make sure that you understand what you are going to gain from the end goal. Understanding this will keep your spirit pumped up and positive.

Be active in positive activities

“The only joy in the world is to begin.” – Cesare Pavese

Many people procrastinate and practice wishful thinking. However, having a plan and a dream is not enough. You have to be active and pursue your genuine desires. You should understand that work has to be put forth in order to become happy.

Read more

Unhappy? Don’t Waste Time Complaining. Follow These Steps To Change.

Whether you consider happiness to be a state of mind or an activity, understand that happiness needs a level of commitment on our part. You can’t be happy by chance or accidentally. It needs some work. Rather than making excuses or complaining about something, follow these steps so you can become the happy person you should be.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – The Dalai Lama

Understand what happiness is

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” –Dale Carnegie

You cannot consider yourself happy if you do not know what happiness means. Many people cannot see the distinguishing lines between happiness and unhappiness. They tend to blame their predicament on poor relationships, spiteful relatives, and unpleasant experiences.

No one should be unhappy. It is an option. It is a choice that you can make. It starts with making that choice when good or awful things happen to you.

Take away the negativity in your life

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” – Martha Washington

What is making you unhappy? Learn to determine what is making you unhappy. It could be that you are working in a job that you don’t really love. Or it could be that the people you are surrounded with are people you don’t really like.

Whether you are in an unhealthy relationship, doing a job you don’t like, or surrounded with negative people always find the factors causing your unhappiness and get rid of them.

Look for the positive things in your life

“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” –Lucille Ball

Once negative energy is thrown out of the door, try looking for the positive things in your life. Those things may not be obvious, but they are there. It may be in spending time in solitude, having a healthy body, or having a supportive partner. There is always something that should be worth your positive attention. No matter how awful things may look, always do well to find a good angle to it.

Appreciate the present

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” – Winnie the Pooh

Most times, what can be sapping our positive energy and happiness could be that we are worrying so much about the future. It is understandable that we live in a world where it is impossible not to think about the future and look back at the past. But all this falls on a perspective. Our perspective about being happy and blessed is to focus on the now. The present has all the wonders to offer. Why dwell on things we cannot control?

Create a plan to be happy

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

When you have started taking those mini steps to gain direction to reach happiness, you have to stick to a routine or a plan that works best for you and makes you happy. There should be no excuses, detours, or self-doubts. Whatever your plan may be, whether it is staying fit or doing charity work, make sure that you understand what you are going to gain from the end goal. Understanding this will keep your spirit pumped up and positive.

Be active in positive activities

“The only joy in the world is to begin.” – Cesare Pavese

Many people procrastinate and practice wishful thinking. However, having a plan and a dream is not enough. You have to be active and pursue your genuine desires. You should understand that work has to be put forth in order to become happy.

Read more

Why People Who Don’t Use Phones All the Time Lead A More Meaningful Life

Prepare yourself for a bit of a rant.

I spent much of January, 2011 in Costa Rica on a study abroad trip. I returned with many vivid memories, such as staring into a volcano, hiking down hundreds of stone steps to a stunning waterfall, zip lining through misty clouds above a breathtaking rain forest, and eating dinner at a cliff-side restaurant overlooking a starlit valley.

But perhaps my favorite memory, the one I miss the most, is the moment I locked my cell phone in the hotel safe—where it lurked for the rest of the trip.

Don’t get me wrong. Phones are useful. But somewhere along the way, people seem to have stopped viewing phones as a means to an end and started treating them like little rechargeable deities. I say “little”—these last few years phones have hit a growth spurt. Society needs to make up its mind. How can you expect me to wear skinny jeans when I’m trying to transport a phone that’s as big as my face? But I digress.

Anyway, assuming you’re like me, and you can spend an hour sans cell phone (without hyperventilating), let’s indulge in a playful little tribute to ourselves. Here is why the few of us who can survive an awkward pause without a cellphone conversation are wonderful.

1. We know how to have an actual conversation.

Don’t you love it when you’re telling a story and the listener pulls out their phone? Some would argue I’m just a bad story teller, but I choose to blame phone addicts. If you were talking to me and I turned to talk to someone else, you would be annoyed right? So how is it any different when you start reading a text? Why are the text thoughts more important than mine? I’m the one who cared enough to actually spend time with you. And don’t give me the classic line “Keep going, I’m still listening.” I’ll bet you are.

2. We can go on an actual vacation.

I love cruises. So much. And one of the many reasons is everybody leaves their phones in their rooms and tries to remember how to be a human being—at least while they’re on the ship.

Earlier this year, my wife and I went on a cruise that debarked in Cozumel. We hitched a ride to the nearest beach; and while I swam in the crystal clear water, bounced sky high on floating trampolines, and tried to conquer my crippling fear of marine life, my beautiful wife took advantage of the beach’s free wifi. Because apparently that’s a thing now. Free wifi. At the beach.

3. We can tell you who won the game.

I will never understand this. How can you spend big money on concert or sports tickets and waste the whole show looking at your phone? Explain that to me. I took a college class from the GM of a minor league baseball team. He explained a growing struggle in live sports is keeping people’s attention on the action instead of their phones. Hence all the wacky dance contests and t-shirt bombardments during timeouts.

4. We’re less stressed (according to research).

In a study conducted at the University of Missouri, Time Magazine reports students’ “blood pressure and heart rate increased” when their cell phones “started ringing across the room but they were unable to answer them.”

In a different study, “high mobile phone use was associated with sleep disturbances and symptoms of depression for the men and symptoms of depression for the women.”

And since many of us use our phones to browse through social media sites, I’ll give you one more. Elite Daily reports, “New research suggests people who don’t use Facebook are happier than the average person who uses the social networking site regularly.”

5. We don’t ruin movies for everyone around us.

Remember when the first “turn off your phones” reminder showed up in movie theaters? At the time, it didn’t seem that necessary. Now, the movie warm up routine is basically preview, “turn off your phone,” preview, “turn off your phone,” opening credits, “turn off your phone.” And it still doesn’t work! I was at one theater that encouraged people to install an app that puts your phone on “movie mode.” Are you kidding me? Your phone already has a built-in movie mode. It’s called “silent,” and it’s not hard to activate.

Confession Time

I may have come on strong in this post, so let me land this plane with a little humility and a dose of encouragement.

I’m a recovering cell phone addict. My particular app of choice was Clash of Clans. I would rearrange my entire schedule and mistreat the people around me in service to that game. But thanks to a five day cruise (I told you cruises were wonderful), I broke the habit. Then I went a step further. I’ve recently changed the settings on my phone’s work email account so it won’t sync unless I tell it to manually. This gives me access to my work emails when I want, instead of letting them constantly interrupt my evenings and weekends.

If you find yourself feeling shackled to your cell phone, consider the research and know that, at least in my case, life has been more fun ever since I took control (minus a few days of withdrawal).

Read more

Great Activities To Do With Your Kids This Fall

Autumn is a favorite time of year for many. It’s not too hot, not too cold. All the fall colors look beautiful against a blue-sky backdrop. And there’s nothing like the sound of dried-up leaves crunching beneath your feet. So seize the day and get out with your kids before the snow flies!

Here are 8 great activities to do with your kids this fall:

1. Go to an apple orchard. The best apple orchards have so much to do. You can take hay and pony rides, taste and pick apples, drink fresh-squeezed apple cider, see farm animals, get all sticky as you devour caramel apples, run freely through fields or just sit back and watch it all.
2. Bake apple crisp. Using kid-safe peelers, have a contest to see who can peel the longest continuous piece of apple skin. Let your kids measure and mix the apple crisp ingredients. Then play a card game like Uno, Go Fish, or Old Maid while you enjoy the delicious scent of your apple crisp baking. Serve the fresh-baked dessert a la mode and with caramel topping.
3. Get lost in a corn maze. You’d have to fly yourself and your kids all the way to Europe to see some of the world’s most renowned hedge mazes. Get a similar experience for a fraction of the cost by checking out a local corn maze. When you get there, let the kids lead you through the narrow channels and dead ends. Pretend you’re counting on them to help you find your way out before nightfall. Cheer together when you reach the exit and celebrate with some fresh-popped kettle corn.
4. Jump in a pile of leaves. Don’t ask your kids to help you rake. It sounds too much like a chore. Instead, have all the rakes, work gloves and leaf bags ready outside. Then — just before your kids tell you they’re bored — challenge them to see who can make the biggest pile of leaves to jump in. Bring your camera for this great photo op, and beware of doggie do.
5. Build a scarecrow family. Now you have a great use for your torn-up old jeans and shirts that are way past their prime. Stuff ’em with some of the leaves you’ve just collected to build scarecrows. Display them in front of your house and passersby will surely do a double take.
6. Take a nature walk. Get away from the concrete jungle. Find a place where you can walk with your kids that has no cars, buildings, or power lines in sight. Pretend you’re Hansel and Gretel trying to find your way home, or Little Red Riding Hood bringing a basket full of food to Grandma. Let your kids set the pace during the walk, reminding yourself your walk is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy every minute of this special time with your sweeties, and lose yourselves in the wonder of the view, fresh air, foliage and wildlife.
7. See a play. Once you’ve spent time playing with your kids, take them to see a play. It doesn’t have to be at a big, fancy — expensive — theater either. Check out the plays showing at schools near you. They’re quite entertaining. Or find out when your local theaters offer pay-what-you-can performances or cheap seats. Be sure to reserve them in advance.
8. Feed the birds. Pick out a bird feeder with your kids, along with birdseed and all you need to hang it outside your window. Keep the bird feeder stocked throughout the long winter months and delight in watching the birds eat their meals outside while you enjoy yours indoors.

On the surface, it might seem like we need to come up with elaborate plans to show our kids a good time. Wait for these, and the fun times you have together will be few and far between. So instead, think of simpler ways you can make memories with your kids everyday. They grow up so fast. Enjoy every second of their precious childhood while it lasts.

Read more